she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
