THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
