my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Come share oat with me in your robe
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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