Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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