The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
