go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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