So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
