does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
They are going to name an STD after you.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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