Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
