yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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