dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
