So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize