This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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