wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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