I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
