Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
