butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
