3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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