Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize