her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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