I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
