i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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