If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
