Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
