So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
