i barfeds in our rink
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
