Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Randomize