so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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