I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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