Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
