so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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