but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
