Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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