I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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