went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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