Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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