She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
