my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
sex in a hospital.. check
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize