I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
