Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
