I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
cat food counts as protein by the way
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
