i think my tv is drunk
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
