think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
