3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
