Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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