just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
