How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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