We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
