whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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