Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
