what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
