News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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