My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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