I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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