She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize
