I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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