i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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