Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
