I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
