His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
