I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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