I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
