hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
