i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
