shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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