i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
