I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
