At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
May the power of my ass compel you!!
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize