who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
