Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
