So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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